Thursday, January 8, 2015

Sex and the Conceiving Woman: Keeping It Fun

By Nicole H.

Trying to get pregnant, especially if you've been on some form of birth control, can be like opening a present every time you have sex. There is something so extraordinary, wonderful, and sexy about making love and potentially creating a new life in the process.

If you haven't been trying for long, the shear enjoyment of having sex without any kind of barrier can be heady enough to create mind-blowing sex. On the other hand, if the process is taking a while, things can get repetitive, stale, and even become stressful. When your love-making starts to lose its luster or even if you just want to spice things up, here are a couple of suggestions to help you keep it fun:

1.      Don't just have sex when you're ovulating.
Many women hoping to get pregnant can quickly become focused on ovulation like a bloodhound on the hunt. The longer it takes, the more intense you may become. Days of monitoring your cervical mucus, urinating on ovulation test sticks, and pouncing on your husband when the egg drops can take its toll. If you're not careful, sex can become all about making a baby and not about enjoying the whole experience. The result can leave you both feeling like automated baby-making bots. The answer – don't just have sex at ovulation time.

Embrace this special time in your relationship and enjoy each other! Do it when you both know that it's not about the baby. Your husband won't feel like a workhorse, and you won't feel like a pre-heated baby oven. Remember, sex is about expressing your love for one another. It's important to make sure that your partner knows that love-making isn't all about the baby. And you may need that reminder too.

2.      Take your show on the road.
The best part about relinquishing the birth control is that you don't have anything holding you back anymore. A load of responsibility has been dropped, whether it's remembering to take a pill, put on a condom, or get a shot. Now is the time to experiment and act like a bunch of teenagers. Whether you do it in a car or at a hotspot that you've always dreamed of, go for it! Nothing is holding you back (except the law so be careful there).

3.      Don't forget the foreplay!
Sex on its own can be its own reward, but the truth is, it can quickly become all business when you're trying to make a baby. By making every love-making session a quickie, you could be missing out on a chance to intimately connect with your partner. Remember when the baby arrives, the opportunities to thoroughly enjoy your time together are going to be fewer and farther between. Here are a couple of ways to enhance your foreplay:

  • Role play
  • Explore sex toys
  • Research love-making techniques and try some out
  • Up the romance factor (intimate dinner, candlelight, music, etc.)
  • Send romantic texts to each other while you're apart

When you're making a baby, it can be easy to slip into the mechanics of doing it. While you're waiting for your little miracle to happen, use your imagination, pitch in the extra effort, and make sure to luxuriate in the time you get with your partner. Soon your time will be limited, so enjoy the journey to motherhood from the very beginning.

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