Thursday, July 24, 2014

A pre-pregnancy contract?

Rebecca Onion wrote an article in Slate Magazine last week about having a Pre-pregnancy contract that divides up all baby duties before the baby is born, a prepup if you will.

Onion says a prepup would be a “legally binding document, outlining expectations and setting a course for periodic re-examination of the division of labor, alleviate my fears, and prevent aggravation, or fights, or divorce, in the future?

This article in Slate Magazine has been quite controversial in this 21st century feminism world.  Many women believe that parenting today is a two-street and both parents should want to parent their newborn equally.  However, as pointed out there is no real way to enforce this contract.  If you are going to divorce your husband because they didn’t change the diaper at 2am when he was supposed to, is this contract really helping to prevent divorce and rocky marriages?  Chances are if you are going to divorce him over not changing a diaper, you don’t have a strong marriage and probably would get a divorce anyway eventually even without the prepup contract.  Dividing up tasks in a legally binding agreement just says that you are insecure in your marriage to me.

“In a “spontaneous” household, work tends to revert to the less spontaneous person, who is often the one culturally expected to carry it out. “

The Huffington Post picked up the story and asked a few bloggers and therapists to video chat with them regarding the article. 
The opinions had the same sentiment among all of the guests.  If you need a contract to force your husband to change a diaper or feed your child then you probably shouldn’t be married to him.  Most of the guests did agree that before baby arrives you should have a talk with your partner and decide how you are going to divide up tasks so neither parent feels resentment towards the other.

The guests during the live stream were:
Alesandra Dubin 
@AliceDubin (Los Angeles, CA) Lifestyle Writer ; Pregnancy Blogger for

@prebabyblog (FL) Blogger, 'The Art Of Making A Baby'; Managing Editor, Daily Mom

Kate Dunbar               (Ventura, CA) Chef & Blogger, 'Kate's Curious Kitchen'

Sherry Amatenstein LCSW 
@sherapynyc (NYC) Relationship Therapist; Author of 'The Complete Marriage Counselor'

You can watch the recorded video that was live this morning on Huff Post LiveOnline.

Do you think prepups will work? 

Do you think they are applicable now more than ever? 

Would you use a prepup on your husband?

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